


In The Closet

by nah_she_didnt



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Based on a True Story, Enemies to Friends, F/M, Idiots, M/M, Muggle AU, Sirius but with chaotic gay energy, cw: homophobia, cw: homophobic slurs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-15 01:34:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28555449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nah_she_didnt/pseuds/nah_she_didnt
Summary: Finals are over and it's time for the final summer holiday before Lily's last year at Hogwarts academy. But things get out of control when Sirius convinces Lily to throw a summer kick off party at her house. When the cops show up, Lily ends up in the last place she ever expected to find herself: in a dark closet with the arrogant, self-important, but surprisingly tolerable, James Potter.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 8
Kudos: 40





	In The Closet

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y'all! This is my first ever fanfic AND my first ever story that I've shared with anyone. The story is loosely based on a time when my mother had to hide from cops in a closet at a party during high school. She's my hero. Enjoy!

“My life is over,” Mary whined from her spot in the train compartment. 

Lily rolled her eyes. “It’s six weeks on the Welsh coast, it’ll be grand.” 

“You don’t understand,” Mary said, sitting up dramatically, “my granny has barely left the house in years. It’ll be six weeks of tea time and the same three stories about the war over and over again.” 

Dorcas, who was flipping through a fashion magazine in the seat next to Mary, said absentmindedly “Maybe you’ll meet cute boys at the beach.” 

Mary glared at her. “Doubtful, considering the nearest town is miles away, but thank you for filling me with false hope before I’m doomed to the most boring holiday of all time. Now, if there were some spectacular social gathering happening before my social death sentence, that might get me through….” 

“No, Mar.” 

“Oh come on, you’ll have the house to yourself! Dear old Tuney and your mum are in London ‘til Monday for dress fittings. Please oh please Lily save me from having the most boring summer of all time.” 

Lily paused to consider her friend’s plea. It was true, she would have the house to herself for three whole days. Her mother had seemed genuinely sorry that she wouldn’t be at King’s Cross to collect Lily from the school train, but Lily couldn’t help but think that Petunia’s timing was not a coincidence. Lily was sure that Petunia had chosen this weekend to go wedding dress shopping so that she could chose the undoubtedly horrid gown she would walk down the aisle in, get the alterations, and be off back to her fiancee in London, all without Lily’s input or company. 

Lily sighed, “Let me think about it. You know I have the nosiest neighbors, we’d surely never get away with it…” 

“Oh, we know,” replied Dorcas darkly. “How is dear Snivellus?” 

“Don’t call him that,” Lily snapped, albeit with less enthusiasm than she would have used in the past to defend Sev. In fact, with each passing day Lily found she had less and less energy to spend on her former friend. 

Dorcas shrugged. “Fine, how do you propose we keep this party secret from dear Severus?”

“Now, surely the words ‘Severus’ and ‘party’ don’t belong in the same sentence.” 

At that moment, the door to their compartment slid open to reveal two boys standing in the doorway: James Potter, with his messy black hair and arrogant grin, and Sirius Black, who had somehow already changed out of his school uniform into a black suede jacket and bell bottoms. 

Lily grimaced at James, “Funny, I don’t remember inviting you into this conversation, Potter.” 

“You should talk more quietly, then,” replied Sirius, mischief dancing behind his eyes, “or else the whole train will hear about this wild party you girls are planning. Go on then, when will this social event of the season take place?”

“Tomorrow night, Lily’s house!” Mary cried, beaming. Her bad mood had clearly lifted as soon as the boys entered their compartment.

“No, absolutely not,” said Lily sternly. “There is no party. Sorry to disappoint you two, but Mary here doesn’t know what she’s talking about.” 

“Now, Lily, be reasonable!” cried Sirius imploringly, grabbing her hand and sinking down to one knee for dramatic effect. “Think of your poor classmates! Have we not spent the last two weeks preparing for our grueling end of year exams?” 

“You only studied for exams for two weeks?” said Lily, horrorstruck.

“Yes, and a more boring two weeks I cannot recall in my young life!” Sirius draped the back of his hand across his forehead and fully laid down on the compartment floor. “Please, Lily, if you have any care for my emotional, mental, or social wellbeing, please let me plan a rager tomorrow night in your lovely home.” 

“You’ve never been to my home, Sirius,” said Lily, but the corners of her mouth had begun to twitch. 

“Well, I’m sure it’s lovely! Let me put it this way, let me throw a bonkers begining-of-the-holiday party in your house tomorrow, and James and I will leave you girls alone for the rest of the train ride.” 

“Done!” cried Dorcas, “Off you go, gents.” 

“Hang on,” said Lily quickly. Looking around she could see that she was fast losing any hope of finding an ally in the compartment. Finally, her gaze fell on James. “Potter, you know him best, if I let him plan a party in my house can I expect the building to still be standing in the morning?” 

James paused, clearly considering Lily’s question. After a beat, he replied “On my honor, Evans, your childhood home will still exist the morning after this absolutely legendary party.” 

“Right, that answer doesn’t quite soothe me, Potter. But I suppose…” 

“YES!” cried Sirius, who in one fluid movement jumped to his feet and pumped his fist into the air. “Evans, I promise, you won’t be sorry. I’m going to plan the most insane summer kickoff that will make any minimal damage to your property completely worth it.” 

“You have got to stop saying stuff like that,” said Lily through the gaps in her fingers, as she had dropped her face into her hands. “I swear to God Sirius, if you make me regret this I will end you.” 

“Fair enough. Now, we must be off. Must collect the lads to do some party planning. Do we think three kegs will be enough, or should we go for five just in case?” 

“OUT!” shouted Lily, and Sirius scrambled from the compartment, followed closely by James, who paused quickly before leaving to shoot a final grin in Lily’s direction. 

“He is so obvious,” said Dorcas in a bored voice as she watched James leave. 

“God, I know, he’s going to destroy my whole house, isn’t he” said Lily miserably.

Dorcas shot a bemused look in Lily’s direction, “I wasn’t talking about Sirius.” 

–

Lily stood on the platform at King’s Cross with her school trunk waiting for Mary to collect her things from the train. She felt a pang of sadness in her chest that her mother wasn’t here to collect her for her last summer holiday before graduating from Hogwarts academy. She had been looking forward to a final summer at home with mum before hopefully starting a pre-med program in London next summer after graduation. But, she supposed, Tuney was getting married, and would need her mother’s help in finding a dress. Plus, Lily would get her mum all to herself for eight weeks this summer. No, she shouldn’t worry, and she shouldn’t feel guilty for having a few friends over for an intimate and mature social gathering tomorrow night…

“Hello, uh - are you getting home okay?” said a voice behind her. Lily turned to see a sallow, lanky boy standing just behind her. Severus had grown taller in the last year, but still had the sickly boyish look that he’d had for all the years she’d known him. Lily grimaced. “I’m fine, thank you.” 

“Good, good… Are you sure you don’t need a ride? Mother is coming, for once, you know she usually makes me take the train, but I suppose since it’s the last holiday before school ends she felt sentimental.” 

“No, Mary’s mum is driving me. They’re in Sheffield, it’s not far.” 

“Oh… right. Are you quite sure? It wouldn’t be any trouble. We’re just down the street, you know.” It was clear as he said this that Severus was using a great deal of energy to try and appear aloof, like he couldn’t care less how Lily got home from the station. 

“Severus, please leave it. I have a ride, I’m not a damsel in distress that you need to save, I have plenty of people to rely on, so please leave me alone.” 

Severus looked angry now, brushing the hair out of his eyes so that he could glare at Lily. “I never said you were a damsel, I just thought–” 

“Pardon me, Snivellus,” Sirius said loudly as he pushed past Severus towards Lily. “Evans, I know you seemed touchy about the kegs, so how about just one keg and a few bottles of something stronger, eh? You don’t worry about the guest list, I’ll take care of it, only the best and least responsible Hogwarts students allowed, I promise!” 

“Sirius,” said Lily warningly, as Severus was listening to every word he said. “Not now, okay? Do whatever you think is best. Within reason!” she shouted at him, for at her blessing Sirius had grinned mischievously and darted back into the crowd of students on the platform.

“Why is Black asking you about kegs? Are you letting him bring alcohol to your house?” Snape demanded, eyes full of desperation. 

“How can what goes on in my house possibly concern you, Snape?” Said Lily harshly. She glanced around Severus to see Mary and her mum waving at her from the other side of the platform. “Looks like my ride is ready. Guess I’ll see you next term,” she said as she hurried away from him. Severus stared at her as she left, an unreadable expression on his face. 

–

“I cannot believe you talked me into this. I cannot believe you talked me into this, Mary.” 

“Calm down,” said Dorcas as she applied more mascara, her eyes and mouth comically wide as she stared into the mirror in concentration. The girls were getting dressed for the party in Lily’s bedroom, which would be locked for the party itself. “You’re hardly the first teenager to throw a party when mum’s out of town.” 

“Yes, but I’m the first teenager stupid enough to let Sirius Black throw a party when my mum’s out of town!” 

“Well, I for one am eternally grateful for the sacrifice you’ve made on behalf of my sanity this summer, Lily,” said Mary, crossing the room to throw her arm across Lily’s shoulders in a one-sided hug. “You’re single handedly saving my will to live.” 

Lily shrugged Mary off and glared at her. “Honestly, watch you guilt me into having this stupid party, then have a magical time in Wales with some chiseled sailor that you meet on the very first day.” 

“It is a distinct possibility” said Mary with a wicked grin, and she flounced back over to her spot in front of the mirror to continue perfecting her bangs. 

Lily dejectedly walked over to her spot between Mary and Dorcas in front of the mirror. She was determined to be in a bad mood for the party, but she couldn’t deny, she and the girls looked hot. Dorcas styled her long braids tied up into two buns on top of her head, added some dramatic eye makeup, and topped off the look with simple silver hoop earrings. Mary had perfected her Linda Ronstadt bangs and dark purple lipstick. And Lily, who had been forced by Mary into a blue eye shadow that she had never dared wear before and a backless halter top (”you can tell I’m not wearing a bra!” “That’s the point, dingus,”) was nearly unrecognizable. 

“I’m going to regret this” Lily sighed. 

“Save it, Lils. No one’s holding a gun to your head. You need this as much as anyone.” 

That was certainly true. Lily had spent the better part of the last five months revising for her exams, and now that they were over she supposed there was nothing wrong with letting off a little steam. She straightened up, looked at herself in the mirror one last time, and determined that she liked what she saw. 

Downstairs, the doorbell rang. 

“Christ,” Lily mumbled, “that’ll be the goons.” 

“Could you get the door, Lil? Mary and I are still preening” said Dorcas distractedly, still glancing in the mirror. 

“I suppose I should let them in before they break down the door.” Lily made her way downstairs to the living room and to the front door. She stopped with her hand on the doorknob, let out a breath, planted a smile on her face, and opened the door. 

James Potter stood in front of her in a fitted Queen t-shirt, fitted blue jeans, and a dumbstruck expression. 

“Erm, hi,” said Lily, not quite sure if James could hear her. James nodded, still looking like he’d been hit very hard over the head. “Hi…” he said, distractedly, then grinned 

“Evening, Evans! Holy shit!” Sirius came striding into the living room past James, who still hadn’t moved. “You look ravishing! Like truly, completely hot! How did this happen!” 

“Fuck off, Black,” said Lily annoyed. She knew the halter top had been a ridiculous idea.

“No, no, I mean, wow. Come on, Evans, don’t be mad, you know if I liked girls you’d be my number one. Oi, James, close your mouth and bring that Keg in here.”

Lily spun around. Sure enough, James was standing in front of a large keg that he began to wheel into her house on a dolly. Lily groaned inwardly. 

“Alright, thank you for supplying the alcohol. Now, as I recall, there are two more of you. Where are Remus and Peter?” 

“They’re bringing in the rest of the libations,” Said Sirius proudly, striding over to the front door and calling out “Lads, that’s the wrong door! We’re in here you morons!” 

Lily sprinted to the front door and, sure enough, Remus and Peter were now awkwardly stepping over Mrs. Nextdoor’s freshly planted hydrangeas and making their way into her front yard instead. They both held large boxes emitting the sounds of clinking glassware every time the boys moved. 

Lily rounded on Sirius. “Black, I swear to god if those boxes are both full of liquor,” 

“Now, Evans, who do you think I am? There’s at least one bottle of chaser in there!” said Sirius, who dodged Lily’s attempt to smack him around the head. “It’ll be right as rain, Lily, I give you my word!” 

“Just set it up on the kitchen table, okay? And for god’s sake put a towel down!” cried Lily as James wheeled the keg past her and into the kitchen. Remus and Peter entered the living room, panting and struggling to keep a hold on the enormous boxes in their hands. 

“Alright, Evans? Where should we put these?” Asked Peter. Peter was shorter than his friends, with a round face and kind eyes. He often gave Lily the impression of an excitable puppy, always bubbly and eager to please. 

“The kitchen counter is fine, thanks,” Lily pointed in the general direction of the kitchen, past Sirius struggling to lift the corner of the keg while James stuffed a towel beneath it. Peter grinned and hobbled off to put the boxes down. 

“Hey, Lily, thanks for agreeing to host the festivities tonight,” said Remus. Lily liked Remus the best of his friend group. They’d been chemistry partners ever since she’d stopped being friends with Severus. Lily had instantly clicked with Remus because while on the surface he was kind and mild, he could be sarcastic as anything once you got to know him. Lily smiled at Remus, “Of course, though I may live to regret it. I’m glad I have you here to help keep the boys in line.” 

“No can do, I’m afraid,” Remus sighed, “I allow myself one night a year to be a reckless teenager, and unfortunately for you I’ve chosen tonight as this year’s night.” 

“You’re dead to me,” Lily pouted, but Remus laughed and slung his arm around her. “Come on, let’s get you a drink. It’s going to be a great night, I promise!” 

The air was suddenly filled with the sound of shattering glass and the overwhelming smell of vodka. “Uh, Lily love,” said Sirius’ voice from the kitchen, “where might we find some paper towels?” 

Lily glared at Remus, who shrugged, adding “I’ll get you that drink now, shall I?” 

–

Remus was right, the party was going off without a hitch, not including the broken handle of vodka at the beginning of the night. What seemed like half their year at Hogwarts was present. Lily had consumed approximately two and a half beers – no, on second thought, a whole three beers, she conceded as she chugged the rest of her drink – and had forgotten all about her hostess anxieties. The music was loud, the keg was half full, and she was basking in the glow of gratitude from her fellow students who were happy to have a reason to celebrate the end of the year. She was even slapped on the back by last year’s soccer captain, Benjy Fenwick, which caused Mary to go into such a fit of giggles that she had to leave the room. 

Remus, much to Sirius’ chagrin, had been put in charge of the music. This proved to be a poor decision on Lily’s part. The house seemed full of nervous energy as her classmates, who were fast becoming more and more intoxicated, grumbled that they could not dance to the slow, melodic rock coming from the speakers.

Sirius was growing more and more antsy at Remus’ music selections. "Moony I am begging you to think about the group at large before you play any more Neil Young.” 

“Neil Young is a god!”

“Yes, but this album is damn depressing! Put on something I can dance to!” 

“This song is hauntingly beautiful, and anyone who can’t appreciate that shouldn’t be here in the first place.” 

“Moony, put on some dancing music, and I promise you I’ll make you glad you did,” Sirius said suggestively, pulling Remus closer to him. Remus grinned and leaned into to Sirius, who grabbed him tight around the torso and yelled “Peter, now!” Swift as can be, Peter swooped in and switched out the Neil Young for an ABBA record, causing the room at large to cheer in celebration. 

“Traitor!” yelled Remus, though he was laughing. “ABBA is an insult to my DJ title.” 

“ABBA is fun and you know it,” said Sirius, grabbing Remus’ hand and pulling him onto the dance floor. Lily smiled as she watched them dance. Sirius and Remus had caused a minor scandal the previous year when they had gone from best mates to an official couple. Not that their new relationship had surprised anyone who really knew them. Lily had been waiting for Remus to tell her he loved Sirius ever since they became chemistry partners. As she watched them dance, Lily felt a warm presence next to her and looked up. 

“Fancy seeing you here,” said Potter, also watching Sirius and Remus dance. 

Lily smiled, gesturing to the dancing couple. “Is it weird for you, navigating a friendship with both of them when they’re so bonkers for each other?” 

“Nah, it’s not bad. We’ve all been through a lot, it was easy to figure out the group’s dynamics once they changed. Anyway, they’ve never been subtle about fancying each other, so when they got together the only thing that changed was the label.” 

“I suppose that’s true,” said Lily. It was odd to speak so honestly with James. Usually James was so arrogant, walking around the school as if he owned the place. James was popular, good looking (she supposed), and well-known by all. He and his friends were also known as charming trouble makers, and could get away with even the most egregious pranks. It annoyed Lily to no end. 

About a year ago, James had taken notice of Lily’s negative attitude towards himself and seemed to make it his personal mission to charm her as he had the rest of her classmates. Their encounters usually consisted of flirtatious sparring from him and cool indifference from her, which only encouraged his competitive nature. It worked, sometimes, but Lily was usually determined not to let him win, for Lily suspected she was even more competitive than James when it came to being right. 

“It’s nice talking to you like this, Potter,” said Lily, emboldened by the three and a half beers she had now imbibed, “you’re far more pleasant when you aren’t trying to flirt with me.”

“What do you mean, ‘trying’? I think I’m pretty successful at flirting with you,” said Potter. God, his stupid handsome – NO, not handsome, passable – face wore the most infuriatingly smug expression. Lily quickly reversed course, settling back into her Defensive Potter Mode. 

“No, actually, you’re not. In fact, you’re usually nothing more than an arrogant toerag, in my humble opinion,” she said matter of factly. 

Alright, that might have been too far. Why had she had so much to drink?

They stood in silence for a moment, the smug look on James’ face shifting into one of sour disappointment. He shrugged, “You’re right. I’m sorry Evans, enjoy the party,” and he disappeared into the crowd.

“Christ,” Lily mumbled to herself, rubbing her eye with the hand not clutched around her drink. Potter really was infuriating. He could antagonize her to no end, but the moment she got to him herself, she felt this wave of crushing guilt. No matter. The night was young, and she’d almost finished her fourth beer. Lily sighed, and went into the crowd to find Mary and Dorcas.

–

The party had certainly reached a new peak. More people had started to turn up, including students from the years above and below James, and people he had never seen in his life. The keg was nearly empty, the music blared, and couples had started disappearing into the upper level of the house. James, however, was not in much of a party mood.

“Cheer up, mate,” slurred Sirius as he dropped into the empty seat next to James on the couch, “ignore Evans, find yourself another nice bird.” 

“Don’t want another bird, and I’m not hung up on Evans, thank you very much,” said James stubbornly. Sirius rolled his eyes. “Sure you’re not. Alright, what about her then? She’s got nice…hair? Andy big, thick – uh – knockers, and looks like she’s got two eyes, and-” 

“You have no idea at all what to see in women, do you?” laughed James. Sirius had about as much interest in girls as James had in Snivellus. 

“Haven’t the foggiest idea, but I’m sure someone here could pique your interest.” 

“Well, that’s a nice thought, but I–” 

At that moment, a girl in the crowd towards the front of the house yelled at the top of her lungs, “COPS!” 

It was chaos. Dozens of drunk, crazed teenagers started to run towards the back door, knocking into and running each other over in the process. Sirius and James jumped to their feet, scanning the crowd for Remus and Peter. Peter was nowhere to be seen, but Remus sprinted over to where they stood, grabbing Sirius’ hand. 

“We have to go, now,” said Remus. Sirius paused, looking guilty. “I should stay, this was my idea, I don’t want Lily to take the fall for this,” he said, though he looked nervously at the front of the house where the policemen certainly stood behind the door. James, knowing exactly what Sirius was afraid of, clapped a hand on his shoulder. 

“No, Sirius, you and Remus go. Find somewhere to cool it for a while. I’ll meet you later.” 

“James, I know you’re obsessed with Lily, but you can’t honestly say you want to stay,” said a shocked Remus.

“This isn’t about Lily. I’ll stay behind to help people get out, then I’ll hide somewhere. Go, now!” said James, pushing his friends towards the back door. With a final uncertain look, the two disappeared in the escaping crowd. 

James looked around to see what could be done. Most of the partygoers had escaped out the back, so James turned off the living room lights just as a loud knock sounded at the front door. James froze, listening intently to what was happening behind the front door. 

“Open up in there!” shouted a scary sounding voice, and James bolted. 

He ran to the back door, locked it, and bolted up the stairs. He had absolutely no idea where he was going, but he knew he had to get as far away from the front door as possible. He rounded a corner, then another, into a dark bedroom. He paused, looking around to get his bearings, and then he saw it. He dived head first into the closet, when–

“OUCH! Who is that?!” said a scared, and annoyed, voice.

“Shhh, it’s James Potter, keep it down though, there’s cops downstairs.

“James, it’s me, Lily, and I know there are cops downstairs. Why else would I be hiding in my closet?” 

“I don’t know, Evans, how many more people did you insult tonight? Maybe you’re hiding from them,” said James grumpily. 

There was a moment of silence. James stared into the oppressive darkness at what he assumed was Lily’s dark form. 

“What’s happening downstairs? When everyone started to run I knew I couldn’t leave, it’s my house, so I came up here.” 

“Yeah, that was smart. I locked the back door and I think everyone is out, but it might be smart to hide up here for a bit ‘til they go away.” 

“Right, okay.” Lily let out a long breath she had clearly been holding in since arriving in the closet. The two sat in silence for several long moments, then Lily spoke. 

“James?”

“Mhm?”

“I’m sorry for what I said about you. You’re not an obnoxious douchebag.” 

“Actually, it was arrogant toerag, but continue,” said James, with just a hint of his usual flirtatiousness. Silently, he cursed himself for never being able to be mad at Lily. 

“Right, that. Well, as I said, I am sorry. It’s just you can make me so angry sometimes. More mad than anyone else I know.”

“So you’re saying I evoke strong emotions in you?” laughed James, “I suppose I’ll take that as a compliment.” 

“I’m not sure you should,” replied Lily, but her voice sounded much friendlier this time. James regretted not leaving the closet ajar so that he could see her face in the light of the street lamps outside her window. 

“Too late, you said something nice about me! I’m counting it as a victory.” 

Lily scoffed. “Speaking of victories, I notice Sirius is not the one sitting in the dark with me. I’m glad that he got to have a fun night of partying then ditch as soon as things got dicey.” 

“It wasn’t like that!” said James, suddenly defensive. “He was going to stay but I told him to leave with Remus, and that I would help get people out of the house. I didn’t like the idea of he and Remus around the cops. He was reluctant at first but he caved eventually.” 

Silence again. James was starting to enjoy this newfound ability to stump Lily Evans. “Oh… thank you, Potter. I appreciate your help, truly. Why don’t you want Sirius and Remus around cops?” 

This time it was James’ turn for silence. After a pause, he said quietly, “one time, last summer holiday, the four of us were leaving the cinema after dark. We’d snuck in a flask of whiskey and passed it back and forth the whole time, so we were all a little drunk when the film ended. It was before, you know, Sirius and Remus were properly together, but they were tipsy and being really playful with each other. When we got outside they ran down the street ahead of us and were flirting a bunch, being touchy, you know. Anyway, they’d gotten a bit ahead of us down the block, and these two skinheads tried to corner them. Started calling them queers, faggots, pushing them about, you get it. Peter and I ran up, and at that point the blokes knew they were outnumbered and bolted. But the whole thing was really scary. Remus said he couldn’t sleep for a week.” 

James paused his story to rub his eyes at the horrible memory. He’d forgotten just how bad that night had been. “Anyway, I was walking to the store a few days after this, and I saw a cop walking down the street swinging a baton like a cartoon character. It was one of the skinheads. I recognized him from that night, he must have been off duty. This fucking prick spent his night off harassing a couple of kids who weren’t hurting anyone at all. If one of them is like that, I don’t want to know what the rest of them are like.” 

James expected to sit in silence with Lily for a few more moments, but this time she broke the silence quickly. 

“Thank you.” 

“For what?” 

“For looking after them tonight. That was really… well, it was really brave, James.” 

James’ heart soared. She called him brave. He tried desperately to ignore his delight, and instead answered nonchalantly. “They would do the same for me. Not that I’m in the same situation, or that I have as much to worry about with cops, or, well, you know. They look out for me, I look out for them. I love them, and that’s what you do for people you love.” 

“Yes,” breathed Lily, “you’re right, that’s–”

They both froze. They could hear from the hallway the unmistakable sounds of large feet in boots climbing the stairs to the second floor. “Maybe they won’t know we’re here,” James whispered as quietly as he could.

Lily gulped, and covered her own mouth to quiet her breathing. James waited with baited breath. Suddenly, a light flipped on in the room, and someone wrenched open the doors to the closet. 

“Oi, you two, what do you think you’re doing in there?” yelled a large, bald policeman. 

James froze, eyes wide, trying his best to look both sober and innocent. “We’re, uh, we’re just, um–” 

“We’re having a fight,” said Lily confidently. James looked quickly at her, properly seeing her for the first time since entering the closet. Her hair was a mess, her eye makeup was smudged, and her expression was set. She glared up at the policeman, who regarded her confident tone with surprise. 

“Is that right?” said the policeman, regaining his composure and glaring down at Lily. Lily straightened, looking more determined than ever. “Yes. Arnold here broke up with me two days ago, so we came in here to fight. We didn’t want anyone else to know, you see. We’ve been up here for quite a while, so we haven’t the foggiest idea of what’s been going on downstairs.”

“I bet you haven’t,” said the cop nastily. “I’ll have you know, miss, that there were a great number of minors drinking alcohol on the premises tonight. We had a tip off that someone in the neighborhood was hosting an underage party, and it wasn’t hard to figure out which house was the problem. Your front lawn is a right mess, you see.” 

Lily frowned. “I don’t have any knowledge of any drinking on this property. Do you have anyone in custody?”

“No, but,” 

“And how did you get inside? If there’s no one else downstairs, I can’t see how anyone could have let you in.” 

“The tip off said there was a spare key for emergencies. If there was underage drinking happening, we had clear cause to enter the property.” 

“Well, we’ll see about that, but for now, it looks like there’s nothing more for you all to do, is there? It’s a classic case of habeas corpus. And if you don’t have the corpus, you know what they say, ‘no body, no crime,’“ said Lily sweetly. The cop looked at Lily for a moment, clearly dumbfounded. James had never been so enamored with another human being in his young life as he was in this moment. 

“Look, miss, do you live here or not?” said the cop. 

“No, I don’t,” lied Lily. 

“Well, tell whoever does live here that we’ll come round to inquire in the next few days, so they better have everything back in order before we do.” And with that ominous announcement, the cop left the room. 

James and Lily sat in dead silence for a few minutes as they heard the cop collecting his buddy from the kitchen and leaving through the front door, closing it behind them. 

James and Lily looked at one another, then at the exact same time, leapt up and sprinted to the front door. James got there first, locking it quickly, then turned to lean his back up against the door, panting. 

“That - was - so - close,” he wheezed, sliding down the door to sit on the ground. Lily nodded, clutching a stitch in her side, then turned on the table lamp to inspect her living room. 

The room was positively trashed. Empty plastic cups with sticky dried beer littered the floor, the remnants of a drinking game lay strewn about her mother’s antique sitting room table, and something that smelled suspiciously like vomit was wafting over from one of the large potted plants in the corner. 

“James, you need to find a new best friend, because I am going to destroy Sirius Black,” said Lily, covering her face with her hands and sinking onto the couch. 

“I wouldn’t blame you. Hey, how did you come up with that ‘Harper’s corpse’ thing so quickly?” asked James.

“It’s habeas corpus, and I watch a lot of American legal programs,” said Lily proudly, “I have no idea if any of that is right. That cop must have been a bit thick, or I don’t think he would have bought it. Anyway, I’d be surprised if he came back to check up on the place, he probably just said that to scare us a bit. Still, I really should start to clean this mess up…”

“I’ll help!” said James gallantly, springing to his feet. Lily eyed him suspiciously, but James just waved his hand casually, “Evans, I’m not leaving you to this mess. I helped destroy your home, at least let me help set it right again.” 

“Fair enough. Blimey, where do we even start? Wait, do you hear that?” 

James and Lily looked around. There was a slight tap tap tap coming from the direction of the kitchen. Lily walked quickly into the other room and saw three noses pressed up against the window panes on her backdoor; Sirius, Remus, and Peter. Lily shook her head and opened the door. “Well well well, look who decided to show up,” 

“Great party Evans! Are the coppers gone?” Sirius looked anxiously through the door into the house. 

“Yes, but please, get inside before anyone sees you in the yard. The last thing we need is for my neighbors to see you out there.

The boys fell over the landing and into the kitchen. Lily could tell based on their poor coordination that they had not had the same sobering experience that she had that evening. 

“Right, you lot,” Lily said, pointing at Sirius and Peter, “follow me, I’m going to watch you clean the sick out of my mother’s ficus.” Sirius and Peter started to groan, but at a murderous look from Lily, the followed her dutifully into the living room. 

“Sorry about that, mate. Did they give you much trouble?” Remus asked anxiously, surveying the disgusting state of the kitchen and dining room. 

“Surprisingly, no. Lily made up this incredible story for the cops about us fighting in her closet, and–” 

“Hang on,” Remus said, frowning, “what about a closet?”

“Oh, right. Well, when you two left, I stayed downstairs to make sure everyone got out, then I locked the back door and sprinted upstairs. I ran into the first room I saw a closet, and when I went in there to hide Lily was already in there.” 

“Lily in the closet? Sounds like Sirius in fifth year.” 

“My thought exactly. Anyway, We hid up there for a bit, then this big cop came in and found us, but she told him we were in there fighting and didn’t even know there was a party going on downstairs. As there was no one left in the house, he just told us to clean up and left. Mad, eh?” 

“Completely,” agreed Remus, “how did he get in the house in the first place?”

James frowned slightly. He tried to remember what the cop had said about entering the house, but couldn’t. “I have no idea. The front door must have been open after all.” 

“Wild,” said Remus, who had already picked up half the abandoned cups that littered the kitchen. “Lucky she had a story ready for him.”

“Yeah, lucky,” replied James absentmindedly, “she was incredible, really.” 

“I bet she was,” Remus snickered. 

“Shut it, not like that. She was just so calm and collected, you know? I was shitting myself.” 

“Well, we all made it out in one piece. Especially Pete, the prat. We ran into him about a block away from the house, said he was the first one out the door when the cops came.” 

“Of course he was,” James said darkly. Pete had an exceptional knack for being in the right place at the right time. 

At that moment, Peter walked through the doorway from the hall into the kitchen, looking a bit green. “Puke’s cleaned up. I don’t know what that poor soul had for dinner, but whatever it was, it was definitely not something you should eat before drinking.”

“Thanks for the visual, mate.” 

“How’d you lot get out of getting arrested anyway?” asked Pete, who was now helping James wipe down the kitchen counter. 

“Lily and I were in the closet, and–”

“Huh, just like Sirius in fifth year,” 

“That’s what I said!”

“And Lily made up this brilliant story that got them to leave. Honestly, she was so convincing I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to trust her again.” 

“I’m sure that won’t be a problem,” Peter smirked. Remus laughed again.

James eyed them both. “For your information, I think it was a bonding moment! She surely can’t hate me anymore after we went through all that together.”

“Yes, hiding in a closet together can do wonders for a relationship,” said Remus wisely, “believe me, I would know.” 

“What’s this about being in a closet?” 

Sirius and Lily entered the room, Lily holding a mop and bucket and Sirius holding a garbage bag out away from his body like it was a bomb. 

Remus took the garbage bag from Sirius, put it in the trash can, and kissed him on the cheek.

“Never you mind. Let’s say we get some water for that bucket and tackle the living room. Pete, could you take the trash out front?”

“Oh no you don’t,” Lily replied, snatching the trash from Remus’ hands, “I’m not letting any more of my neighbors see you lot in my front yard. You can help me clean up then sleep here tonight, if you want, it’s far too late for you to hitch home or whatever it is that you planned on doing.” 

“Sounds good to me, I make an excellent omelette!” Sirius proclaimed, then followed Remus into the living room with the mop and bucket. Lily grinned at James, who smiled softly back at her, then took the garbage bag through the living room and out the front door. 

She walked across the front threshold into the warm night air, letting herself revel in the quiet of her suburban street at midnight. She stood for a moment taking in large gulps of night air before walking over to the bins and depositing the trash inside. When she was done she felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. She whirled around and found herself face to face with Severus. 

“Lily, are you alright? I saw police and I was worried, I came to see if you were okay,” said Severus quickly. He was looking past her to the front of her house. Lily could see that Remus and Sirius were visible through the front window, mopping the floor and laughing as they worked. Lily looked back at Severus to see that his eyes had narrowed as he watched them. 

“It’s none of your business, Snape.” Lily said stiffly, crossing her arms against her chest. She was still very aware that she was wearing Mary’s loose fitting halter top. 

Severus looked taken aback at her use of his surname. “Lily, I’m sorry, I just–” 

“Thought you’d call the cops on my party? Thought you’d tell the cops about the spare key we keep in the planter next to the door?”

Severus appeared dumbfounded. “I don’t know what they told you, but it wasn’t – I didn’t – I was worried that they would destroy your house!”

“You know what, Snape,” she was becoming more angry by the minute, “butt out of my life, alright? I’m telling you once and for all to leave me alone. I don’t need your assistance or your protection, I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself. Plus, I have friends to look out for me,” and she gestured towards the front window where Sirius had completely forgotten about mopping and was instead trying to convince Remus to waltz with him. 

Severus stared at the window. “You can’t possibly mean them. They don’t have your best interest at heart!”

“They look out for me, I look out for them. That’s what you do for your real friends, Snape.” And with that, Lily turned on her heel and marched back into the house. 

–

“I said it last night and I’ll say it again, excellent party last night, Evans,” Sirius exclaimed, raising his glass of vodka and tomato juice (”the poor man’s hangover cure!” he insisted earlier that morning), “to Evans!”

“Evans!” shouted the boys, Mary, and Dorcas, who had arrived last night shortly after Lily’s confrontation with Severus. They had hidden in playground equipment for half an hour before daring to make their way back to the house. They had all spent the night cleaning the house, then passed out on blankets and pillows in the living room. That morning they had woken up to feast on bacon sandwiches and coffee. Sirius had been too hung over to follow through on his promise of omelettes. 

“Thank you, thank you, you are all too kind,” Lily laughed. “And, I suppose, I must show a small amount of gratitude towards Sirius for forcing me to have the party in the first place.” 

“I think force is a bit strong. You certainly didn’t need much convincing. I think we all needed a bit of a laugh.” 

“Easy for you to say, you weren’t cowering in a closet from a big beefy copper, were you?” grumbled James, though his eyes were bright with amusement. 

“True enough. Your heroics will go down in Hogwarts legend, my friends,” said Sirius, clapping James on the back. 

Peter checked his watch. “We best be off lads, before our mums realize that we all lied about sleeping over at each other’s houses.”

The boys began to collect their belongings, said their goodbyes to Lily, Mary, and Dorcas, then trudged out the door to catch the bus in town. Lily rose to see them out, but James hung back behind his friends. 

“Hey, thanks again for saving my ass last night. You really are brilliant, you know.” 

“Yes, I do know, thank you,” Lily said cheekily, giving James a playful punch on the arm.

“Look, I’d say we’ve been through a lot now, how about we try and be, I dunno… friends?”

Lily considered this for a moment. He wasn’t so bad after all, James. He’d risked his neck to protect his friends, and he’d stayed up all night helping her clean the house. 

Finally, Lily stuck her hand out, “Friends.” 

James’ face broke into a broad smile as he took her hand and shook. “Blimey, did you ever think you’d see the day?”

“Never,” Lily winked at him. “You best catch up with your mates.” 

“Ah, yes, they’ll leave me behind if I don’t run, they’ve done it before. Have a good summer, Evans,” and with that, he turned and ran after his friends. 

Lily fondly watched the boys meander down the street. Had she really been wrong about James Potter? She shook her head, shot one last glance towards the mess of black hair on the back of his head, then stepped back into her spotless home.


End file.
